I don’t know if the 2020s are going to have the same notoriety as the 1920s, but I’m certainly planning on it being a ‘roaring’ decade for me.
At the beginning of this year, a good friend asked me the question “what did the last decade teach you?” My immediate answer was ‘nothing’. But I realised that was wrong. I just hadn’t sat down and thought about it. I had grown over the ten years. Quite a lot. I’d matured and done some pretty momentous things – bought my first and second houses. Started and completed Law School. Moved jobs a few times. And discovered what I wanted to do for the rest of my career. But at the same time, I had stayed stilted because of my need for approval from others, to be liked by others, and my quick ability to assume I’m not good enough or can’t do something. Also whilst considering this question and realising this, I decided that I wanted to grow further.
First to consider is what I wanted to change and why I wanted to change them. Another hurdle for me is to overcome the giving up when things get hard or don’t go exactly as I want them to, or simply because I find an excuse not to carry on.
So…what do I want to focus on this decade? These might not happen. They are big goals. And I’m not feeling overwhelmed by this. Yet anyway.
The 2020s – Goals
- Move house. I know what you’re going to say – “she only moved in November 2018”. But I’m not settling down in my house. I thought I had settled in last year when my brother and his girlfriend were here, but since they’ve left, it’s gone back to feeling like an empty house again. My conclusion is that this house is too big for me. As such, my plan over the course of the next few years is to rent this house out and find myself a smaller dwelling.
- Languages. My overall goal is to become fluent in two other languages. In September 2019 I started learning Spanish and I am loving it. As international travel is also high on my agenda, increasing my language ability can only be a good thing.
- Travel. Until this year, I’d never been outside of western Europe. This decade I want to try and get to more continents, see more places, meet new people, learn new things.
- Career. Progress in my chosen career. This will be a series of steps, that I am mapping out and planning for each one.
2020 – Goals
- Declutter and finish decorating the house
- Completely come off social media (excluding LinkedIn)
- Be positive
- Holiday x 2
Decluttering and decorating
I’ve been putting the lockdown into good use and am using my time productively. Whilst I am still working full time, but remotely, the extra time in the house is a good time to focus on how I want the house to look.
When I moved into this house, I promised myself that I was going to minimise my belongings, in particular, books. Unfortunately I originally (and optimistically) thought that I’d read them and then give them away. But the only thing that happened was that I started a lot and didn’t finish them.
The decorating has taken a pause with the lockdown. But mainly because my wallpaper steamer is at my brother’s house and I like to look at paint before committing to it so don’t want to order it online.
In October 2019, I deactivated my Facebook account after a particularly low point and I found myself obsessively scrolling and checking friends’ profiles. I’d deactivated it once before but when I logged back on, I found out that my friend had died. Naturally, that wasn’t a scenario I wanted to repeat. But I decided to deactivate it and see how things went.
I want to say that there was also a big eureka moment where I decided I wanted to live in the present and see the things around me more. This wasn’t the case before I closed my account. However, the longer I’ve been off, I’ve increasingly felt reconnected with the world and clearer of mind.
I’m still on Instagram and Facebook Messenger. Messenger I will be deleting. I now feel able to log back on to Facebook to take off my photos and personal information and completely delete. Deactivating keeps the account live and able to log in whenever you want. It also allows you to keep Messenger and I’ve got 2 people that I communicate with through there which is the reason I’d kept it going. But there are other ways.
Instagram I’ll most likely be deleting very soon also. To start with, I wasn’t on it a lot, but I’ve been increasing the time spent on there recently and don’t want it to turn into the new addiction.
When I was going through a hard patch, a friend sent me a motivational notecard:
Notiere dir heute Abend, bevor du dich schlafen legst, drei Dinge, die dir tagsüber Freude gemacht haben. Ein kleines Glückstagebuch sorgt dafür, dass wir das Leben mehr zu schätzen lernen.
[Before you go to sleep tonight, write down three things you enjoyed during the day. A little happiness diary ensures we learn to appreciate life more.]
So I do. Changing your mindset before you go to bed does wonders for waking up feeling positive. Tip – if you’ve watched a horror film before bed…no amount of positivity stops the nightmares.
1st to 8th February 2020 – Kraków, Poland. Beautiful city and country. And fantastic pierogis and vodka! Definitely somewhere I’ll go back to.
December 2020 – hopefully Cardiff and Tenby.